It's always an interesting question to wonder who am I? I could give you a list of adjectives, that while true enough, tell you little about me. I could say I'm a researcher, a writer, a mother, a daughter. If I was to go further and show my face more I might say I walk lots, I swim and swim more, I read pretty much everything. Give me chocolate and I'll be your friend for life. I think too much, dream too much, sigh too much when I'm lost in my thoughts. I crave the fresh air, I yearn for the sea. I like the vastness of space, the unwieldiness of time. I'm a seagull in the breeze.
Someone asked me recently to describe myself, my essence, what makes me me. Somewhat on the spot, I answered purely on instinct. There was no time for thought.
The truth of it is , is that me, being me, is bound up in a curiosity about the world and myself. I have this intrinsic need, drive, to simply and purely be in the world. Watching it, feeling it, exploring it. Connecting with it.
Now I know that that all sounds terribly 'out there', on cue trendy, odd. But for me I am only able to be myself when I can connect me to the world. Be it sat on the wall, watching the feet pass by, crossing the bridge pausing to watch the waves ripple in the breeze, my hands on the tree trunk smiling at the rustling undergrowth. My thoughts in the clouds, my eyes watching history, wondering at the past and man's amazing ability to manipulate and sculpt the world. All of these things ground me in the world.
I'm at my best, my most content, real, when I can have my feel on the ground and my face in the air, watching, hearing and feeling where the world is and where I am.
A reminder that I am but a small part of this world, and the world too is part of me.
The Seagulls by Morgenstern
The seagulls by their looks suggest
that Emma is their name;
they wear a white and fluffy vest
and are the hunter's game.
I never shoot a seagull dead;
their life I do not take.
I like to feed them gingerbread
and bits of raisin cake.
O human, you will never fly
the way the seagulls do;
but if your name is Emma, why,
be glad they look like you.