and so I swim

Swimming to me has become many things. It's an escape, a reason, a passion, an obsession, a fury. And on days like today swimming gives me space and quiet amidst the noise and chaos of my life. An opportunity to feel nothing but myself, my being. 

As I become lost in the flow, the buzz of the world around me disappears, so that it becomes invisible. The shapes of the world become opaque, mere shadows that  dance on the edge of my consciousness. 

And all I hear is the rhythm of my heart, gifting me this joy of moving my body in the water. And as I breathe without thought, my body melts into this rhythm that does not need me to think. It just is. 

And all is empty. And yet so full. Because in the emptiness there is space for me. 

In these moments this is what it is to be truly  free. Everything leaves me. To be lost just for a short while, where all that there is is my heart as the water holds me.

And then something breaks the spell. I couldn't say what. A noise that breaks into my soul, a ray of light that jolts my flow, a missed breath, or the utter peace of tiredness drifting in.

So the spell breaks and I find myself pulled back to the world abruptly. Noisily. Everything echoes, thuds. It's an intense flood to my senses. And yet I find I'm blurred around the edges, softened. Peaceful in the noise around me.