I’ve been harshly reminded in the past few days that change is, in fact, not a choice. That is, change will happen anyway, whether we like it or not. In some minuscule way, perhaps hateful way, it’s happening right now. When left to its own devices it can be the most charming and beguiling of evil dictators, making slicing chasms right before our eyes that we are powerless to stop. Or it can be the slyest, most cruel undercover agent, out to tip over our world, causing a wave so large we can only be swept along.

Least it feels so. Truth is that for the most, unexpected change or change we deny ourselves the ability to see, carries a hell of a sting in its tail. Not always of course, but chance and lottery wins aside, change sure has the potential to make the world anew in ways we wish we could have prepared ourselves for.

It all sounds terribly bleak.

But despite the throes of change, life keeping me on my toes, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not the change that makes the difference, but really, actually what does, is what I choose to do with it, how I react.

What matters is how I hold change in my being and the paths I create in folding it this way and that, as I look for possibility, a shadowed sparkle.

In seeking choice, I create choice, and empower myself to stand in the storm, become part of it. I can, I find, if I so choose, make change an opportunity despite the tear it dregs and rumbles through my world.

And so in the bleakness of the rift of the tear, I remind myself to remember the good that change can be. To smile back at the gift of change our own potential brings. The changes that are bubbles we’ve carefully crafted through intent, desire, need, want. The changes we hope for that creep into reality, silently, unnoticed in their presence. Tiny soul catching pearls of glitter that we have created.

The path is never clear, and it’s never smooth, and the rainbow crumbles, and the sky, yes the sky does fall, the end disappears, the ambition covered in mist, but everything even in the shadows matters.

So, in the midst of the game where it seems as if the dictator has all the power, I remind myself not to underestimate the possibility in every thought, every step. I remind myself that control is mine for the finding, because the little things are where my heart is kept and my soul is hiding. And most of all I remind myself to stop, just for a second and realise just how much difference just one small pearl can make in my life, in the world.

For me exploring the possibility in the pain is how to do change

Never underestimate the difference small things can make.

And stop once in a while and catch yourself, look back and see just what you have made.